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color=#000000 size=3>"Good, that is important to have others to spend time with.
Are they close enough to expose your inner self to?" The Counselor queried "Or
do you try to keep your feelings to yourself?"<BR>Marcus sighed, "I lived on
Vulcan for two years, I always keep my feelings to myself." He smiled, "It's a
trait I'm trying to over come, along with." He fell quiet for nearly a minute as
his last sentence trailed off..."Alot of other things..."<BR> <BR>The
Counselor watched Marcus for a moment and then spoke softly "Would you mind
sharing or is it too early for that?"<BR> <BR>Marcus shrugged, "I don't
know. I just think I'm obsessive and it affects everything, from my work to my
social life, emotionally, physically. Everything. If anyone ever decided to
really dig deep into my life they would discover an inordinate amount of time
and energy tracking a certain Shania Neasau, a woman who is officially dead."
There, he had said it now, and he was certain that all the details would roll
out and the weight would finally lift from his mind after all these
years. <BR> <BR>Oh, he had mentioned Shania to others, even hinted at
how he spent most of his spare time; why he was so anti social, but he had never
really divulged the whole story to someone else.<BR> <BR>Ivri blinked and
blinked again a small pucker formed between her dark eyebrows. Her voice was
soft, sincere and serious yet audible "Yet, I believe that the question remains
is this... Marcus, do you believe she is dead?"<BR> <BR>Marcus shook his
head, "She's not dead...I've seen her on several occasions, but I can't figure
out what happened. She goes by many names now. Never by Shania. She survived the
accident, but her last message to me was to never contact her again." He fell
silent, sure his answered begged as many questions as they
answered."<BR> <BR>"I see..." Ivri trailed off for a moment "Have you ever
discussed this with anyone else?" The Counselor wondered if there was another
Counselor involved in this case or not. "Does Shania have
family?"</FONT></SPAN></DIV></DIV>
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<P><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3>Marcus nodded, "A little, to the captain, but
that was a long time ago, no one recently, and never to a
counselor<BR> <BR>Ivri nodded her face appeared to show her to be in
thought for the moment as that tell-tale sign of the small pucker that formed
between her dark eye brows. She did not look at Marcus like he was crazy and in
that he should feel some relief. Momentarily she asked "You pursued the avenue
of finding her?"</FONT></P>
<P><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3>"I had this compulsion to find out the truth.
Until recently I would spend nearly every spare hour searching for Shania. We
even sent several messages back and forth when I finally located her. Her family
think her dead. So do mine, they don't believe me."</FONT></P>
<P><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3>"So, what do you want to do about that?" the
Counselor said hesitantly not trying to push but to let Marcus go forward with
this at his own pace.</FONT></P>
<DIV><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3>"I want to move past it...it's not just the
relationship, it was all this not knowing. Not understanding. I...I need to move
past it and move on, relationally and for the sake of my
life."<BR> <BR>"Your life? Your not in any danger are?" Curiosity and a bit
of fear went through Ivri, the recent events with Dr. Kat and the Cugino
incident bothered even the Counselor on a deep hidden level.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3>Marcus shrugged, an almost nonchalant gesture
that seemed resigned to whatever fate might decide. "It's hard to say counselor.
Shania, well, it's difficult to say just what she's involved with. Threats have
been made in the past, unofficially of course, and not by she."</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3>The Counselor sort of nodded an understanding
her mind still filled with a tad of fear. "I see... did she.." Ivri paused to
collect herself and to take a sip of her now warm drink to moisten her throat as
Marcus continued.</FONT></DIV>
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<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3>"Her last message, I've kept it. Which is also
against the advice she gave me, but it's holographic and therefore the most
recent and perhaps last news received from her. Still, she will not be pleased
if she does find out, she stepped out of bounds and should not have sent
it.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3>A corner of Ivri's mouth twitched in an unspoekn
understanding.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV style="COLOR: rgb(80,0,80)">
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3>"Curiosity killed the cat, so they say." He
smiled, "But though I can't destroy the hologram I am ready to move on, to leave
curiosity behind."</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3 face=Arial>"I see so what your saying is that
you just do not know how to do that? Or are you a little saddened to give up?"
The Counselor didn't want to push to hard but she needed to know who committed
the Commander was to his new found cause of release of a woman who had bonds on
him in an unknown way.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3 face=Arial>"I think a little of both if I'm
honest counselor. I feel like in some ways, this pursuit to find out where she
really is, what really happened, to demand answers; well its consumed my life
and so I want to give it up, and yet to an extent it has been my life and so it
is difficult to give it up." Does that make sense?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial><BR><FONT color=#000000
size=3></FONT></FONT></DIV></DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3 face=Arial>The Counselor nodded her
understanding in response</FONT></DIV>
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<DIV><FONT face=Arial><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3 face=Arial>"And then, well one can't go pining
after the same woman their own life can they?" He smiled whimsically, "And
sometimes someone or something comes along that causes you to have an incentive
to step past it, to push past it all, get a life, stretch your wings, move
forward."</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT></FONT></DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3 face=Arial>Ivri smiled not knowingly but at the
same time knowingly. "and..."</FONT></DIV>
<DIV style="COLOR: rgb(80,0,80)" class=im>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial><BR><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3 face=Arial>"I think more than anything, I'm
telling you this for accountabilities sake. I do want to move past it but I have
so many questions about what that might look like and even what might be ethical
about that."</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3>"Your concern is about what the Federation
thinks about such things or what others think?"</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3>"Maybe both?" He let it drop
though,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=3>"To me the real question of concern is this..
Marcus, you yourself said you are ready to let go." Ivri leaned forward ever so
slightly and placed her glass back on the table as she continued to look at
Marcus and speak "Then let it, her... go and move on." The counselor paused
again as she sat back up. "As for others..." Ivri shrugged slightly in
the shoulders "let them think what they will, they do not know your heart, only
you do." Her tone was gentle and caring. "but if it involves something illegal
there might be repercussions, you understand that don't you?" Her eyes twinkled
again lightly with humor as for she was joking ever so slightly about the
illegal part.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT class=Apple-style-span><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: medium"
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size=3></FONT></SPAN></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT class=Apple-style-span color=#000000 size=2><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: medium" class=Apple-style-span>
<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 10pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN
class=apple-style-span><SPAN
style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt">"I
don't think it's illegal." The sides of his mouth twitched up slightly. Then he
sighed, "You're right, it's time to forget about the past
completely."</SPAN></SPAN></P>
<P style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 10pt" class=MsoNormal><SPAN
class=apple-style-span><SPAN
style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt">~Finis</SPAN></SPAN></P>
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class=apple-style-span><SPAN
style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'; COLOR: black; FONT-SIZE: 12pt">Lt.
Cmdr. Marcus Saladin</SPAN></SPAN></P>
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Manager</SPAN></SPAN></P>
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Ivri</SPAN></SPAN></P>
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Vimy Ridge</SPAN></SPAN></P></SPAN></FONT></DIV>
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